I am stressed today. Just too much to do, and not enough of me, ya know?
Knocked out the homeschooling lesson at the beginning of the day. Micaela (who also has fragile x) does not like phonics, but frankly, who does? But we're plugging our way through Saxon Phonics K (which is much deeper than what they teach in school, I am pretty sure.) She's a trooper. She's got her whole life in front of her and I am obliged to help her while she'll let me. But reading for her is tough. We're working on it every day. I love to read. I can lose myself in a book for DAYS.
The social workers and health personnel came by today to advance Jonathan's application on one of the waiver lists. It's so humbling to me to have to sit across my table and talk about son (who will be 18 in 2 days) and his skill level which in many areas is that of a 4 year old. It's freakin' heart-breaking. It is so hard, seeing that Micaela and Adam are more advanced in some areas. It's HARD, because he has the body (and facial hair) of a young man and the glee and reckless abandon of a toddler's mind. I mean, he plays with a Playskool dump truck in his room!
Do I feel sorry for him, or for myself? Nope. (Nor do I want anyone else's pity) I love Jonathan as he is. He gets on my nerves but that's family for you. I wouldn't cure him. I might wish he could read more but I don't think I would cure him. He is as God made him. And I love him with all of my heart. I cannot believe my BABY will be 18 in two days. UNBELIEVABLE.
You want to talk about humbling, watch this and I dare you not to bawl like a baby.
It's set to my favorite song, by the way. LOVE that song. LOVE that CD. LOVE IT! God speaks to me through that music, yes, He does! Watching that clip is so humbling and so right. You can read about the family here at teamhoyt.com and prepare to be amazed. A parent loves that much. I love Jonathan that much.
What are you humbled by?