Wednesday, August 09, 2006

a journey down this path...

This is a long story so settle in with a cup of tea, if you'd like...

I have not always been what you could call a "good Christian". I was raised Catholic but only for the High Holidays, (Christmas and sometimes Easter). Although church became important in my father's later life, I was never raised IN THE CHURCH. My parents did the best they could but I didn't really have faith to lean on....

I have one sister who nagged me relentlessly about attending church. I resisted her at every turn, always having a ready excuse. I just wasn't there. She didn't give up though, she kept nagging. I knew why, but still, I didn't go. I have since learned that on your journey to faith, you have to go at the pace (and down the path) that God has chosen for you.

Life happened. I made some monumentally stupid decisions. My circumstances changed and I became a different person. I met my husband. And he led me to faith. What I am about to share is extremely personal. It's about my relationship with God.

When I met Greg (online...yep you read right, met him on the Internet!) we chatted and talked and typed for months on end, about everything and nothing. Among other things, he told me about his faith and how it guided him in his life. I didn't know anything about having a relationship with God. So I explored the Lutheran church (LCMS) prior to moving to marry my husband. It was like putting on an old glove, it just fit. And it fit well. I felt at home. I didn't feel judged or that I was doing something wrong, or that I was never good enough. Have you ever felt like that? Like your sins were too many to lay before God? Have you ever been scared that you had screwed up so bad that even God wouldn't love you? Well, I felt like that for a long time....and Greg, my wonderful faithful husband saw in me what God had put there.

Seven years ago, I began a journey. Learning about my place in this world, my relationship with God, How it all works together. And I am much better person for it. I feel loved and whole and special. I truly feel like I found where I belong. Here. With my husband, my kids and with my Maker.

To all of the people who prayed for me.
To those who tried to lead me to faith.
To those who never gave up on me.
I made it, and I love it.

and I make a much better Lutheran than a Catholic. It's much more relevant to me. It speaks to me. It's more forgiving and easier for me to grasp.

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1 comment:

Linda said...

Amen - like you, being catholic was not the right fit for me, and it has been a long hard road to get to the heart of the matter and realize that "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." John 14:6

Suzanne - there are ugly sides to everyone's stories, there are things that we are all sure are too wicked to lay down at the feet of God...but He, in His ALWAYS infinite wisdom has said that we are forgiven, and the ultimate sacrifice was made for us.