My birthday weekend is over.
The festivities have come a close.
It was great. An expensive dinner, time alone, soft new pj's and an iTunes gift card.
But you wanna hear about my best gift of all?
(I am crying as I write this, so bear with me....)
It was a conversation with my Dad. (My dad died in April 1997 and I have thought of him every day since then...) It was Friday night, I have been having really bad headaches again so I had trouble sleeping.
In my dream, I was walking up to my house, which looked like it was in the English countryside, straight out of Sense and Sensibility (1995) . I walked in the front door and called out to the kids and Greg, and looked to me right, and on my couch is sitting my Dad. He was whole, and healthy. (He died of FXTAS and I had not seen him healthy and whole since I was probably 16....but in my dream, he was healthy and happy. I could tell he'd been in Heaven! So in my dream, I dropped my stuff on the floor and ran to him, hugged him and we talked. I mean, really talked. I told him all about how much my life had changed, how much *I* had changed since he'd died. I was waving my arms around and talking 100mph...adn I said, "Oh Dad, wait till you meet my kids.." and he reached out and touched my hand, and said, "Suzie, I knew your kids before you did..." and that's when I knew....that he's in Heaven. And I love thinking that he knew Adam and Micaela in Heaven. When Micaela was born, she had a huge birthmark on her wrist and we'd tell her that's where the angels kissed her when they sent her from Heaven. Maybe it's true....
In my real life, Adam had walked up beside my bed and asked me quietly if it was time to get up yet, and I was trying to stay in this dream, and I said no. I tried so hard to stay asleep, just to stay there and talk to my Dad. I've only had that feeling of him being close to me one other time since he died. It was when I had Adam, who I'd named after him. I miss him still. I think he would have like my kids (and my husband). I felt him near me all weekend.
All in all, it was a good weekend. I didn't cook a single meal all weekend. I slept late on my birthday. And I got to talk to my Dad. Not too shabby.