Monday, November 10, 2008

an amazing gift

My birthday weekend is over.
The festivities have come a close.
It was great. An expensive dinner, time alone, soft new pj's and an iTunes gift card.
But you wanna hear about my best gift of all?
(I am crying as I write this, so bear with me....)

It was a conversation with my Dad. (My dad died in April 1997 and I have thought of him every day since then...) It was Friday night, I have been having really bad headaches again so I had trouble sleeping.



In my dream, I was walking up to my house, which looked like it was in the English countryside, straight out of Sense and Sensibility (1995) . I walked in the front door and called out to the kids and Greg, and looked to me right, and on my couch is sitting my Dad. He was whole, and healthy. (He died of FXTAS and I had not seen him healthy and whole since I was probably 16....but in my dream, he was healthy and happy. I could tell he'd been in Heaven! So in my dream, I dropped my stuff on the floor and ran to him, hugged him and we talked. I mean, really talked. I told him all about how much my life had changed, how much *I* had changed since he'd died. I was waving my arms around and talking 100mph...adn I said, "Oh Dad, wait till you meet my kids.." and he reached out and touched my hand, and said, "Suzie, I knew your kids before you did..." and that's when I knew....that he's in Heaven. And I love thinking that he knew Adam and Micaela in Heaven. When Micaela was born, she had a huge birthmark on her wrist and we'd tell her that's where the angels kissed her when they sent her from Heaven. Maybe it's true....
In my real life, Adam had walked up beside my bed and asked me quietly if it was time to get up yet, and I was trying to stay in this dream, and I said no. I tried so hard to stay asleep, just to stay there and talk to my Dad. I've only had that feeling of him being close to me one other time since he died. It was when I had Adam, who I'd named after him. I miss him still. I think he would have like my kids (and my husband). I felt him near me all weekend.
All in all, it was a good weekend. I didn't cook a single meal all weekend. I slept late on my birthday. And I got to talk to my Dad. Not too shabby.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay, now you're making me cry! Excellent gift! I'm so happy for you!
p.s. Do you watch 'John Edward Cross Country'??? He talks about experiences like this a lot, and it's so cool to know it happened to you!

FXSmom said...

It made me teary too. I'm glad the weekend was everything you could have wanted...and needed

Linda said...

That can't be anything but God. And GOOD, of course!

Betcha your sisters are jealous...they'll never know for sure, will they?

kayokat said...

Hi! I'm new here, but I just had to comment. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful birthday dream. What a GIFT! My dad passed away in 2005, and I can totally relate to everything you said. I so wish he could have met my 2 year old son, he would have loved him so much. I show my son pictures of Papa, and talk about him often, because I want him to know what a great man he was. I really enjoy reading your blog, and I thank you for sharing your priceless gift!

ohhollyf said...

So the Lord to give us what/who we need at just the right time. Glad u had a good B-day.

Anonymous said...

I'm happy you had a good birthday Suzanne! It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person! I think you're great!

JB

rennratt said...

God gave you the best gift of all on your birthday.

Getting to see your dad whole - and KNOWING he was okay (even though you already "knew"). And TALKING to him?

How incredible!

Kristiem10 said...

What a sweet blessing from God.

kristen@nosmallthing said...

Oh, wow. That is REALLY, REALLY fascinating. How wonderful for you.

Happy belated birthday. I'm so glad it was a good one.