(Beware, I am going to whine A LOT in this post...just let me ramble and I'll be fine.....)
We lasted ONE day.
Jonathan got sick (mostly caused by anxiety from being out of his norm.....) and I get no vacation....Instead, I get woken up to deal with poop AND puke. In a small tight space of a pop-up...Not fun. Not anywhere near fun...I am so not liking fragile x right now. It's so much easier when they're 5 and you can pick them up and move them at will. But when they're almost 21 and they outweigh EVERYONE, not so much.....
I should be here, with Greg and Micaela and Adam and Jonathan.
Instead, Adam and I brought Jonathan home...to settle him back into his comfortable surroundings. And to do a whole lot of laundry. I am so upset, I can't even articulate how much this broke my heart. Having kids with special needs is TOUGH. I don't want a pat on the back or a medal. I just want to be able to do FAMILY STUFF without all the drama!! It's tough.....The whole drive home (90 minutes) I didn't say one single word. Jonathan just kept looking at me, begging for silent forgiveness. I KNOW he can't help it. God knows I understand that.....but still I wanted some Family Time.....I was aching for it......
Micaela has been looking forward to this week for a LONG time. So I left her in her capable daddy's care.
They are fishing and relaxing and having fun, and I am glad for that. She was thrilled to catch her first fish last night....At least I was there to hear about that.....(she wouldn't touch it for fear it would bite her nose...???)
Meanwhile, I am doing the laundry. And praying.....the whole time this morning, I just kept repeating, "Lord, make this moment holy..." and He has. I am just going to cry myself to sleep tonight, missing my husband and wishing I was sitting lakeside, listening to the nothingness and the calm. I could use some calm right now....
(all photos were taken with my iPhone.....right before it gave me the Black Screen of Death....oh yes, less than a week of ownership and I get to go make some new friends at The Apple Store....I don't even wanna talk about it.....I'm going to my Happy Place with that....)
----Lord, make this moment holy......please--------
ETA: THANK YOU GOD!! My iPhone healed itself. I plugged it into the computer and it did a whole bunch of stuff that apparently wiped it clean and re-downloaded it. It's HEALED :)